TheVeryWorstPartOfYouIsMe

i cant believe how satisfied i am, with something so trivial.

~

im in my room right now, on my bed listening to old school linkin park, im listening to Breaking the Habit, its one of my favourite songs, but it feels so close to who i am at this stage of my life. and in a way i need to break this, i need to stop this.

i have 12 days until my art needs to be in. 12 days to complete the work that will or will not get me into university. i have 8 days until my biology exam. i have 10 days until my Canterbury interview. i have 11 days until my driving test, i have 15 days until my reading interview.

i have 13 days until my birthday, it seems overshaddowed by nerveracking or negative things. why do all the negative things in life overcome the positives. like why when some one is depressed do they always focus on the negative things instead of the positives.

it puzzles me how the human mind work, i think it puzzles a lot of people.

~

tomorrow. tomorrow is nothing special, tomorrow is just another day which i wont cope with, im not looking forward to anything, unlike last week, which helped me complete my first whole week of school this school year. how pitiful is that its fucking january and ive finished my first 5 day week.

my inability to cope with everyday life really worries me, especially seeing as most days i dont actually dread. im fearful for the fact i dont think ill survive but im not worried about anyone or anything thats an obstical.

last week went so quickly, but this week and next week will drag. i guess ill remember to put that smile on my face, and pretend im okay, showing glances of weakness and sadness momentarily but not enough for anyone to realise. this is how ive lived my life for around 4 years. its working well. im getting good at avoiding the truth.

i dont even have anything to be depressed about, my life in a way isnt that bad.

im just going to lie on my bed and text Daryl.
Danielx