why do i listen to depressing music,
the voice of matthew pryor has uplifted me and dragged me down screaming on different occasions.
i love The Get Up Kids, i wish i appreciated them more when they were around.
im sitting here, my hands are cold and my hair is messy, ive pulled my sketch book up against my chest so i can grab my laptop and type this and browse the internet.
i miss you, you know.
i dont think im happy right now. i really dont, but im not suffocating under my normal teenage angst, in a way i just want happy two dimensional thoughts. superficial and utterly pointless like the next person, i want that.
ive learnt i never get what i want, just a square peg for a circle hole, but a spongey square peg which can be manipulated to fit the hole.
i swear if it was any colder in here i would see myself breathe, my knucles are seizing up and my toes are numb. i have a faint earache, which i get when i listen to music through my headphones.
i feel subordinate, like im hanging around waiting, which is wasting my time. not that i would be using it anyway, id just like to feel wanted right now, but there is a thin line between that and being obsessive. a line i feel i cross too frequently.
id like to have a purpose and mean something to someone, its just an excuse after another for someone not to talk to me, itll be you next.
Saves the day, are starting to annoy me, im getting frustrated a little.
itll pass. it always does, its just a build up.
i just want things the way i used to have them.
im going to give up on this stupid blog, no one cares anymore.
Danielx
2 comments:
Don't be sad.
I'm reading all the blogs, even though you posted like 3 or 4 today. :P
I miss you dan of england!
i care..
&i also sometimes wish i could have silly trivial thoughts like so many people around me.. i get really angry listening to them, because they're so close-minded, but at the same time i really envy them..x
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