YourPromisesTheyLookLikeLiesYourHonestyLikeABackThatHidesAKnife

Today i fell, and felt better
Just knowing this matters
I just feel stronger and sharper
Found a box of SHARP OBJECTS what a BEAUTIFUL THING

this is exactly how i feel. the glorification (presumeably) of self harm makes me feel better about it...
(read into that ^ how you like)

I give up, im bottling up masses of emotions, because if i release it, only negative things will come out of it. im being cryptic with this because i dont want you to know, i fucking fed up of everything and ive been pushed too far.

i Love/Hate the way i feel destructive whenever im this upset and angry. why do this to me?
im so close to grabbing something and just throwing it. my room isnt very big so i can do some damage that way.

i just want to run away from my life, start again, leave everything behind even this. absolutely everything, im too fed up of this pitiful waste of a stupid existance.

Is it worth it? can you even hear me? im tired and ive felt it for a while now. now in this sea of lonely, the taste of ink is getting old.

i dont know if i believe you anymore, ive fell for that one with someone different in a different time.

why does everything go wrong at once..
what did i ever do for this?
maybe if i try and be a complete arsehole then i might be happy, because being understanding and nice has never got me anywhere.