ILoveYou

You know, its selfish of me to say but no one is more perfect than you, and i hope that you can be mine for times to come.
i worry because thats how i am, im a worrier, it doesnt bring me down worrying about you, it makes me feel close to you, it helps me discover my love for you. ive only ever felt down because of you once, and thats when i lost you. things could be worse, i could never have met you, i would be a hundred times worse. and i realised yesterday without causing pressure, you are the only good thing in my life. you make me smile, and you bring happiness ive never experianced before, i can talk to you about anything, i can feel the way i want to around you, and if im quiet i can be that.

you said you couldnt promise me that youd never leave me if you thought you were bringing me down. but you cant bring me down, and going is the only way you could.

its been less than a month. but i have so many fond memories

webcam conversations
meeting you.
holding your hand
kissing you for the first time.
playing guitar to you
drawing you
just lying with you

and many more...

i worry about you, because i want to hold onto these, i want these again, you are the only good thing in my life.

i want to be your night in shining armour and make your world better. i want to be here for you and hold your hand through everything, because you deserve to be happy. and i want to so desperately make you happy. the same way you make me feel.

ive had a tough month, ive never felt so uncontrollably low, i get like that in winter, and given my recovery from my manic breakdown, but i have a feeling that if it hadnt been for you i wouldnt be here right now saying how thankful i am to have you in my life.

i want you to know, that i wont give up on you if you dont give up on me, and i want to have you in my life in some capacity, even if you dont want me the way i want you. i just want you to be happy, no matter what it takes.

but remember i love you, and i will for a very long time.