Coffee

Dear Blog,

Its raining.
I love it, well, listening to it,
Its an everyday natural beauty that everyone hates, which is why i love it, not because i want to be different, i couldnt care less if i was a conformist, just.. its taken for granted, it sounds amazing,
it reminds me of Was It A Dream? by Thirty Seconds to Mars.

i was in the rain not too long ago, i trundled around chatham highstreet with my mum, i had a double opticians appointment, where i found out i have an astigmatism, along with the other numerous eye problems i have, but on the plus side the rate at which my eyesight is deteriorating is decreasing. ive chosen some new glasses too, which ill pick up on friday, theyre black rimmed, similar to my current ones, just black, and recommended by Gok Wan, so they cant be all bad, i got some new contacts too =] so now i have a choice =].

Before my opticians we went for a coffee in a restaurant in the shopping centre, i had my mocha and cream, which is becomming my usual, its lovely, well usually, it tasted a little burnt today.
we went to get some lunch after my appointment, we actually went into a coffee shop, and had panini's which i dont actually particularly like, but i was hungry so i thought i would, and my mother and i casually spoke about how smothering my father is, where i found out that she had told my father not to ask me the gazillion questions he normally does when he suspects im in a relationship when sophie left on saturday. because she knows that i hate his persistant attempt to know everything in everyones life like a toddler constantly stalking our every move and getting angry as if we're spiting him by not including him.
we decided he isnt emotionally developped, like a child in many respects...

it made me think...well it gave me the reason to presume, that my 'gifts' lately, have been an attempt to buy my love. it saddens me, because the damage is done, and im distancing myself before im hurt more.

my mother and i then discussed about how when i was younger my father and my brother rode off when i couldnt keep up even amidst my screaming and crying... it wasnt pleasant..

but in a way this didnt tarnish our afternoon out, ironically we then went and bought my father birthday presents for next monday. i bought him an Xbox game, i hope he likes it.

And as for this evening, im not sure what im doing, probably drawing some more, maybe play guitar, and just poddle about doing little and chatting on msn. might try and learn some bloc party on guitar.. the worlds my oyster as they say :) i should use my evenings more productively....

I Hope youre okay, ill blog again later probably.
Danielx