i read something a minute ago, it was a blogs ive subscribed to,
im pretty bored you know, i actually have nothing to do other than school work, so ive been here on my computer all day, just thinking, and using up as much time as i can doing nothing, i feel too ill to do anything anyway.
the only problem is, i dont feel great, [which i now manage to mention in every blog], im anxious because right now i want to cut myself, i really do, i cant breathe again, my chest is tight and my legs are 'jigging' uncontrollably... its like an addiction just one more hit and ill be okay, in a strange way it makes me feel so good.
this is where what i just read helps.
they said in their blog, not to tell them not to cut themselves. because youre not going to be the one who offers their shoulder to cry on.
i have no one right now.
i have a fucking blog.
theres one thing stopping me right now, my councillor will ask me tomorrow if i have done it recently, and 3 weeks isnt recent... so i can say no, but believe me, ive thought about it everyday.
but i might do and just lie about it anyway,
im pretty good at lieing these days.
Danielx
2 comments:
don't let them make you feel guilty and fucked up about it. they have no idea what it's like.. just remember that.. :( x
yeah... but i got given emergancy phone numbers when i had a a psycholical assessment on the phone, the woman actually had a go at me for self harming... so yeah.. im a little intimidated.
Danielx
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