Colour.

I'm pretty irritable today. i spent an entire day procrastinating, which is fun but not when you do it quite frequently. In reality it's frequent but it's not as if i havent done anything for 4 months, i just can't occupy everyday, and those few days a week i can't occupy add up... and then i get irritable.

Especially today and yesterday, i felt unable to sustain a half decent conversation. which worries me for a few weeks time, when i have to make some friends.

urgh.

I talk about it quite a bit i guess. The same few topics over and over. and little development in my life on a day to day basis. does anyone read this shit i type?

I want to take up a new hobby, not a nerdy one like warhammer or something crap like that, but something useful that could occupy my time, instead of playing video games, guitar, laptop, drawing in a monotonous cycle.

i just feel so unfulfilled i guess.

I spent a large chunk of last night talking with jess and brenden, about life i guess, and where we are. what we're going to do. and who we can't be bothered with anymore and people we want to be friends with.

And it just makes me think. it made me think about how much we waste how much time as individuals and as a civilization we waste. It's quite depressing.

I wish life was like the movies, interesting and deep, passionate and spontaneous, i wish i lived my life making one decision at a time, a journey with a definitive ending where i'd be interesting and engaging...

Life just seems rather dull at the moment. i just want someone to grab me and inject my life full of colour. Just me and them. y'know?