Stimulating, Humdrum, Tangent

Stimulating, Humdrum, Tangent


I rushed through brushing my teeth and my shower to try and remember everything I wanted to write down for this. Don't worry I did clean properly. But I always find if I need to write down an idea for a sketch or some new way of expressing something whether it be a phrase or a topic to write about I will totally focus on it, repeating it in my mind until I can write it down, unable to focus on anything else until it is at least down in the simplest form that I can remember what it means for when I can come back and explain it properly.

I do this because sometimes I struggle with my short term memory, I can be thinking of something and go quite deep into thought, and then move onto a parallel thought and not remember every detail of my initial thought. I'm trying to train it, by rehearsal because that is how I learn things, and with the use of my synaesthesia associate colours with specific colours and create a colour pattern into a way that I can remember things.

What I wanted to write about was the conversation I had prior to my shower 15 minutes ago. I've just spent the past 3 hours watching programmes about the formation of the universe, Stephen Hawking, blackholes, event horizons and other cosmological things.

I tried explaining and sharing things that I learnt with both of my parents, to first of help my understanding by rehearsal and to have a mildly intellectual conversation with my parents. I went to my mum first and started talking about the dynamic of time in correlation to speed and she sat and listened and admitted she didn't understand. I was kinda disappointed sure, but I understood because I found it difficult to grasp and I know I'm more intelligent than my parents. I then went to my father, and tried discussing it, however I notice this every time I talk to him about something. He dominates the conversation and moves it onto a topic which is totally isolated from the topic I try and bring up, and revolves it around a story I've heard a million times whilst making sure that my initial point is quashed whilst I have to listen to his opinion. If I so much as question his point of view he walks off in a strop effectively making me feel like shit and making my point invalid and making me feel small. THIS HAPPENS WITH EVERY CONVERSATION I MAKE WITH HIM.

I only wanted to talk about the event horizon and what could possibly happen in a blackhole, and bounce backwards-and-forewards possible theories feeding off what the other person says but he killed it and moved the conversation about how he as a tax-payer should be paying to make sure children leave school reading and writing instead. WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH PHYSICS.

I decided why I love university so much whilst analysing where my conversation went so wrong with my father. It is because I'm intellectually stimulated broadening my points of view, shaping them to things I'm discovering and adapting to new ways of thinking instead of having my views deemed useless by a person who admitted to being unable to accept anything without hard, physical proof and a total lack of an imaginative bone inside of his body.