Opening.

I can't believe the way things changed.

From being perfect, to realising what it actually was, the lies, the lack of actually being there. The fakeness. It makes me sad. Mostly because I had more than the normal friendship feelings. I guess you made yourself clear by not talking to me. I'm probably going to see you friday. And i know you won't read this, you don't know this even exists. But frankly i won't be bothered if you don't speak to me then, i'd quite welcome it. The only problem is, is i don't know how i'll take it when you do.

~

I have 23 scares. 21 of which i had a choice about. I finished seeing my new councillor today. It helped but i don't know the effectiveness of the longevity of it. She noticed i never get angery. Right now i want to swing my guitar into my wall for no apparent reason. This scares me a little bit.

~

But in reality, i don't even feel that bad. i feel pretty alright actually. It's really quite odd.